Wolfish by Erica Berry

Author:Erica Berry
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Flatiron Books

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It was impossible not to think of Yolande. I thought of her in the mornings when I tunneled through the empty fields and in the evenings when I walked the empty sidewalks. I thought of her because I was trying not to, and because as with most victims of murder, her only memorial was the thing I had built in my screaming brain. “Perhaps we have to dwell on the worst in order to keep it at bay; to imagine it in order to will it away, to pre-empt it and ward it off,” wrote critic Katherine Angel in Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again. Did I pass the farm where Yolande had worked as a nanny? Had the killer seen her around before that night? Did I walk by the field where the farmer had found her body? And that night, had she relished that moonlit walk alone to the pub? At what point in the evening did she feel afraid?

Finally, on my first Saturday at Alice’s, I gave in. There were so many things I would never know about Yolande. Why not chase the things I could? The rain was gravel on the crofted roof. Armed with a stack of chocolate digestive biscuits, I curled on the wicker couch and typed her name. Yolande Waddington. That’s when I saw the Telegraph headline from 2002 that asked, “Can a Village Ever Get Over a Trauma Like This?” That’s when I understood Yolande hadn’t been the only one.

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